I Died Four Times
By Harvey A. Elder ’57
Published in the Summer 2023 ALUMNI JOURNAL
That morning, I woke up feeling more tired than usual, which I attributed to poor sleep the previous two nights. It was a Monday, one of my regular days to exercise at the Loma Linda University Drayson Center.
Several machines were in use, including some by a few Loma Linda firefighters who came in every morning. I crossed the floor to my favorite treadmill along the outside wall and began a slow walk. However, I quickly became short of breath and extremely light-headed. I started to lean against the front of the treadmill to avoid falling. The next thing I knew, I was on the floor with several firefighters surrounding me, one actively doing chest compressions.
A retired fire department captain, Terry, had seen me fall against the wall and then crumple onto the carpeted floor. He later told me he heard my head hit the floor “with such a loud thump” that he was concerned I might have broken my neck. Terry immediately called out for help while stabilizing my neck. Several of the Loma Linda firefighters also saw me collapse and responded. Thankfully, they were all trained emergency medical technicians.
Nate, the captain of the Loma Linda Fire Department, was the next to respond. Based on years of experience, he immediately noted I had no pulse and wasn’t breathing. My pupils were also dilated, which was a bad sign; most people with dilated pupils don’t make it.
A younger fire department member, George, began chest compressions within a minute of my fall. While George was performing compressions, Nate grabbed the gym’s first aid supplies and inserted an IV in my right arm.
I later found out that my pulse was restored within four minutes of my collapse. As I awakened and blinked my eyes into focus, I saw firefighters’ faces surrounding me. They were asking questions at rapid fire.
“What is your name?”
“Where are you?”
I knew the answers, but I didn’t have enough air in my lungs to vocalize. It felt like the wind had been knocked out of me.
As I gained more awareness, I began to dry heave. This was extremely painful and added to the pain from the chest compressions. I wanted to ask them to, “Ease up on the chest pressure, please,” but I thought better of it. I was surrounded by people trained to save someone’s life; this wasn’t a good time for me to take charge.
Lying there, I kept trying to figure out what had happened. I thought, “This must be some kind of medical drama, but I didn’t leave the TV on!” Then I realized, “Oh, I am the TV show!”
I easily moved each foot and each hand. I rejoiced, grateful. This movement of my extremities suggested no stroke. My inability to speak was a concern, but vocalization rapidly devel- oped. If the sudden onset was not a stroke, what was it? A heart attack? I didn’t know.
As I lay on the floor waiting for more help to arrive, I felt strangely calm, at peace. I wasn’t concerned about dying. I began to pray. I simply prayed for my wife, my children, and the firefighters. I don’t recall praying for myself. I didn’t pray to live; I wasn’t concerned about dying. At a very deep level, I knew God was taking care of me. His hands and feet wore the navy uniform of the firefighters.
An ambulance arrived in mere minutes, and their EMT began to assist. They worked together to slide the gurney under me and transport me to the ambulance. Once I was inside, they resumed chest compressions, so I assume my heart had stopped again. I was alert and could feel the pain of the recurring pressure. I wanted to ask them to go easy on me, but I wasn’t in charge. They were. God was.
They stopped doing chest compression and began asking me questions again. This time, I was able to reply right away. As I was still processing what exactly was happening, I continued to pray for the firefighters as God’s ministers of mercy. I was surprised by how calm I felt.
We arrived at the Loma Linda University Emergency Department. While we were in the parking lot, they began chest compressions a third time, and I began to dry heave once more. I was in so much pain; I just wanted them to stop. Thankfully this round was short, and they wheeled me into the ED. I have very little recall of these moments.
Again, there were even more chest compressions, more painful
than the ones that came before. I didn’t think I could take any more pain. They put on an external “pacemaker,” a pad under me and a pad on my chest. I felt some mild shocks at the rate of a normal pulse. I was thankful for this distraction. It actually amused me. I know epinephrine was mentioned, but I don’t know if they used it. Under local anesthesia, they inserted a temporary pacemaker.
During my time in the ED, a doctor named LYNDA DANIEL-UNDERWOOD ’91 visited me. She was a former student of mine and a friend of my daughter. She stayed with me and prayed for me. I deeply appreciated her caring kindness in my moment of need.
I was officially admitted to the hospital for the placement of a permanent pacemaker. A then senior medical student, CALEB MCKINNEY ’23, did my admission evaluation and then asked if he could pray with me. I was beyond delighted to be prayed for by yet another hospital team member. I couldn’t even fathom what was happening. I knew my family and friends were praying for me, but this was different. It was as if decades of my own prayers were being fulfilled at this moment.
For over thirty years, I had prayed with patients at this hospital and taught others to do the same. As the years passed, I prayed that God would raise up someone else to follow me in this teaching. He chose AMY C. HAYTON ’04. She expanded the Whole Person Care program in practical and effective ways that included all areas
of diversity and is tailored to the needs of students in each year of medical training at Loma Linda University School of Medicine. More recently, JOHN Y. SHIN ’14 and Josh Jordan, MD have joined the team. With the program in such good hands I feel truly at peace. It has a great future.
Once I was admitted, I was taken to the waiting area for my procedure. I asked to see Dr. Bhardwaj, who would be the one to put in my permanent pacemaker. He and his colleague came, and I asked if I could pray for them. They readily agreed.
I prayed a simple prayer: that God would guide them, help them see what they needed to see, and know what they needed to do. I also prayed that the pacemaker would take over quickly with no complications.
Then they took me into surgery. The next thing I knew, I was waking up in the anesthesia recovery room. I had minor discomfort at the incision site, but the most pain was in my chest wall from the four rounds of chest compressions I had just endured.
By God’s miracle, I had a new pacemaker. The X-ray showed that all the wires were in the right places and that I had no broken ribs. I felt relieved and confident that my cardiac rhythm problems were behind me.
While I had been in surgery, some family and friends had congregated in the waiting room. My wife, Grace, had been joined by friends Anita Roberts and Rosie Salcedo. I saw them all as I was wheeled to my hospital room for the evening. Once several family members and hospital personnel were gathered in my room, I was overwhelmed by God’s loving graciousness and wanted to thank him for his goodness to me. I asked if they all would join me in a prayer of thanksgiving. A nurse who was with a nearby patient asked to join us. I offered a short prayer of thanks for all God had done for me and praised him for who he is. The nurse who joined us seemed particularly grateful for the blessing.
I didn’t know my future, but I knew who held my life in his powerful right hand. God was with me. I had died four times in less than half an hour. Through his ministers—the EMTs and hospital staff—He had revived me over and over.
That night I slept fitfully. I was still in pain, and the nurses had to take my vitals every four hours. By morning, I was starting to feel better.
Caleb returned to check on me and again prayed with me, for which I was deeply grateful. Several other people came by to pray with me. Pastor Adrian of the Loma Linda University Church sang and prayed with me. LAREN D. TAN ’09, the new chairman of the internal medicine department, said a prayer that was particu- larly meaningful to me. I truly praise God for all his ministers of his grace.
I was discharged that morning after another chest X-ray showed the pacemaker wires were still in place. Grace drove us out of the parking garage as I praised God. “We are going home!” Yes, to our home in Loma Linda. I felt so much closer to God and had a deep sense of coming closer to him with new opportunities to share my stories of his goodness.
Just two days later, my chest wall pain was almost entirely gone. Dr. Tan checked on me at home, and I was happy to report that I felt as well as I had several months earlier. He then asked me to share my experience of how prayers impacted me at the internal medicine department’s academic meeting the following month. I was thrilled to have the opportunity. And that’s what inspired me to share my story with you.
I am slowly picking up more exercise as I continue to heal. I’ve been able to thank the firefighters who helped to save my life that day. I am so incredibly blessed. I still wonder why I was rescued when so many are not. I’m aware that most people who experience cardiac arrest outside of a hospital setting do not survive. I now have a pacemaker whose battery I expect to replace in about ten years.
Days before my cardiac arrest, I’d joined with friends to pray. I shared that, despite a good prior year overall, I was feeling a little low. Not necessarily depressed, just like something was missing. My faith had lost its spark. It felt like my spiritual life needed a jolt.
I had been inquiring of God,“Who will continue the training in Whole Person Care when I can no longer carry the load?” I would remind him that time is rapidly approaching.
God is loving, of this I am certain. So loving, that he answered my prayers in a manner beyond anything I could imagine.
Caleb and Dr. Tan’s prayers overwhelmed me. God, through the prayers of these two, assured me that he had heard my plea for the Whole Person Care program at LLU School of Medicine and it was all under his control. I was stunned, thrilled, and totally at peace.
The power of prayer isn’t necessarily in receiving the answers we want. The real power is in knowing that God is working in us and through us to accomplish his purposes. Our time on earth is but a short blip in eternity: a time to know and trust God’s loving faithfulness, a time to sample the joy of the Lord while he leads us through our earthly sojourn. As we serve God where he assigns us, doing what he calls us to do, that’s a fulfilling life. We do astounding things with willing hearts, even if we do need a little jolt once in awhile.
Watch the full interview here.
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Dr. Elder taught infectious diseases at LLUSM from 1967 to 2020. As he cared for patients with HIV and AIDS, his interest in the spiritual aspect of medical care increased and became a significant part of his practice. Student groups would meet regularly at his home and discuss spiritual aspects and the role of prayer in patient care.